I did something terribly wrong In fact bad very bad to my mom And I realize that just now I have thought about it Things she wanted when she is was dying A week before she want to sit, and I tried to lift her up in the bed Damn I didn’t have money to buy her a liftable bed I should have, but I didn’t And 3 days before she said she want to go home for Diwali I didn’t respect her wish, I thought hospital is the only place I can give her the care she needs Like a month before when I tried to run a chemo, she told me, don’t poke me or poke me soft It is paining for me, everywhere I didn’t listen I went ahead and approved to poke her Selfish me, I wanted her to live and I tortured her for that Last day when the nurse want to put tube in her chest she resisted with the only strength she has and roughly decided that’s going to help her And she didn’t talk or move after that. I gave her the worst care I ever could give her All just because I want her to live I am stupid that I didn’t give her the life she wanted even when she was dying My mom Never replaceable I love you I am a sinner Don’t forgive me for that Mom I miss you Damn I am messed up mom I miss you a lot Please give me the time the last one month I just want to take you home and give you what you want I can afford to buy you a supported bed for you now I can take care of you, don’t need to be in the hospital mom You can be with me, in our home May be that would have cured you mom May be you would have been with me till now Mom, please I miss you